So the brand-new whoa-golly iPhone 3G was set free into the world on Friday, and the world accordingly said Gimme! And because hype works, people said Gimme! in mind-boggling numbers.
I was completely able to resist the iPhone mass madness the first time around (only one short year ago), but this time it's got more of the stuff I'd want, plus my needs have changed and it would be a nice thing to have. So on Friday, since I happened to be nearby, I figured what the hell and wandered over to the Apple Store in Century City.
And was surprised to find that it really wasn't so bad. I'd heard all the stories about activation problems and "bricked" phones and delays delays delays, and figured that would mean that hundreds of people would still be lined up outside. Turns out there were only about fifteen people waiting, in a line that barely reached to the entrance of the store next door. "Well then," thought I, "maybe I'll just go ahead and get one." I got in line. Five minutes passed. A couple other people got in line behind me. One woman said she'd come by a few hours before and there'd been people herded in an improvised holding area at the opposite corner of the mall, so she was amazed that the line was now so short.
We were just beginning to speculate on why that might be when the security guard approached. "Are you on the list?" he asked. "What list?" we asked.
Yep, the cowpen was still active. Six hundred-plus people on the list (representing the whole day--they had moved through about five hundred of them already). So I got out of what was not in fact a proper line outside the store and, knowing that I would not be buying an iPhone today, decided to walk over to see the line. And was rewarded with a string of hot, weary people who looked pretty thoroughly bored and miserable, and you just had to wonder: why on earth?
I mean sure, it's fun to be the first on your block with a whatever, but when thousands of people line up across the city, you have to admit you're just not gonna be first. So, then, what's so awful about being second? Or 10,000th? Shouldn't the thing itself, the iPhone, be more important than the over-hyped aura surrounding it?
The activation troubles reveal the truth.
Apple made a colossal mistake: they tried to do three major things at once. Four, actually. They tried to launch the iPhone, they tried to launch a new 2.0 software update that would work on the original iPhones as well, and they tried to roll out a major upgrade of their online service .mac, which is now called MobileMe. They also made a catastrophic decision to try and force people to activate their new phones in the store rather than at home as they did last year. What this meant was a massive load on their servers that affected every single one of these initiatives, drastically. The MobileMe rollout was supposed to take six hours; it took well over 24, and the service still isn't working terribly well. Trying to active the phones in-store when the activation servers had gone phfft! meant that it took forever to process each customer, until finally they just started sending people home and telling them to active the phones at home, whenever they could. And people trying to download the new 2.0 software ended up leaving their phones useless, only able to make emergency calls, for several hours on a Friday afternoon.
People howled online, because that's what people do online. The freedom to howl, oh joy. "I've got a business to run and now I don't have a phone!" several of them shrieked. But really, you've got to wonder: if their business is so important, why did they download the new software at the first possible moment, early in the morning on a weekday? If you've got business to do, hang out for a day, do your stuff, maybe check online to see how the software is working out, then download it Saturday, or Sunday morning, sometime that isn't nearly so critical.
"I've got a business to run" is, of course, the excuse they use. The real truth is simple: "I want my toy and I want it now!" The infantilism of America reached yet another crybaby threshhold on Friday, and probably some hapless project manager at Apple will get fired for it.
Me? Nope, no iPhone yet. The lines were certain to be long again this weekend, all those frustrated Friday people, and why bother? I just don't need the thing that badly, I can wait a few days. I'll be back in Century City later this week, and I'll probably run by the store, and if there's not a line I'll probably stop in. Get a phone, set it up, and get on with my life.
I say all this not because I'm so wonderful, so immune to the hype (yeah, sure, I'd like a toy, too), but because--because I feel the desire, I do, I remember going into a store and running to the aisle with the toys and that kid is still inside saying "Gimme!" But sometimes, I mean come on, if we're going to be adults let's be adults, shall we?
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