MRSy!

Several weeks ago I lamented the difficulties of getting new health care coverage, even though I was perfectly healthy. "Can't Get Coverage" was the title of my little screed.

Okay, I got coverage. But wait, it gets better.

My appeal to the underwriters was successful, coverage was instated, all that remained was to set up the HSA side of the equation. (HSA = Health Savings Account. Handy little things whereby you put money into an account, accruing both interest and tax advantages, then pay for treatment with a debit card that draws on that account. In other words, you own a good portion of your own health-care money rather than just paying it to the insurance company where it disappears into pockets that aren't your own.) I patiently waited a couple weeks for the insurance company to send me info on their HSA program.

Nothing arrived. I called, got their info, comparison-shopped with a couple other programs, decided which one I wanted, sent in my application. Picked the 20th of each month for money to be auto-debited from my checking account and put into the HSA's coffers. So it would only be a couple more weeks, till November 20th, when the process would finally be complete. Full coverage, money at hand, all right with the world and the sleep of the untroubled once again.

In the meantime...

... a rash appeared. A pesky, itchy thing that slowly spread itself all over the place. It appeared during exactly that period when my HSA was not yet in place, and I didn't want to spend unbudgeted, non-tax-advantaged money when all I had to do was wait a few more (itchy) days.

The 20th came. The 21st came. No money in the HSA. I called, and was told "Oh yes, that first debit takes about thirty days, so if you'll just please wait till December 20th, that would be nifty for us."

Oh, hell no. But there was another option: fill out this form, fax it in, and make a one-time transfer into the HSA. I filled it out and faxed it immediately, then called my doctor's office to set an appointment.

"Oh, Dr. F__________ doesn't accept PPO insurance."

Now bear in mind: when arranging for coverage, the one thing I insisted on, over and over again, was that my first priority was keeping Dr. F______________. He's a fantastic doctor, and I was very clear that any plan I adopted must have him on its rolls. "No problem," they said, as they helped me arrange coverage that would absolutely not include Dr. F_____________ in its rolls. (He hasn't accepted PPO coverage for a decade, so it's not like it's a new thing.)

Dr. F__________'s office, rather than setting up an appointment for a general checkup, simply referred me to a dermatologist, one who most definitely does accept my PPO insurance, and I decided that for the time being, I'd simply have to deal with the immediate (itchy) problem and worry about the General Practitioner problem later. I made an appointment for Monday the 24th.

Money finally hit my HSA. And of course, it was both deductions: the regularly scheduled one that I'd been told wouldn't happen till December, plus the one-time deduction I'd made to cover the immediate need. Which of course wrecks my budget for December, thanks a bunch.

Doctor visits followed. Cultures were taken. Dr. B______________, the dermatologist (a former Bulwer-Lytton contest winner, no fooling, with the annoying habit of dropping word-puzzles in front of me and, when I don't come up with immediate solutions, saying "You're embarrassing yourself"), prescribed this and that, and the rash immediately responded.

But didn't completely go away. It seems to be stubbornly hanging on. Very annoying.

Results of the cultures finally came in today. Group B strep, plus MRSA, the evil antibiotic-resistant staph infection. A bacteria cocktail.

Eighteen months. I had wonderful coverage through COBRA for eighteen months with no medical issues whatsoever. During that exact period when I was working and waiting, arranging for new coverage, what happens? A bacteria cocktail. And how many days did those bacteria have to flourish while I waited and waited for bad bureaucracy to do its job badly?

On the other hand--the bacteria are delighted. At least some organism is happy.